Calamity!
Disaster!
Waste of time and money!
The worst brewing day of my short career!
ARRRRRRRGGGHHH!
Here’s my story:
Brewing up a Guinness clone on what had been a nice Sunday afternoon.
15 minutes after I begin steeping the grains (flaked barley and roasted barley), I realize a mistake: I hadn’t milled the flaked barley.
Well, too late to do much about it, so I carry on, hoping for the best. I decide to let the grains steep for longer than the usual 45 minutes, and I let it go for just over an hour.
On removing the grains (I used a nylon ‘Jumbo’ bag), I realize, “Wow, this is much heavier than other brews I’ve done”. Trying to squeeze the grain bag against the brewpot was a bad idea….. it slips, as does the brewpot - SPLASH! I’ve now got exruciating pain on my legs from where the hot wort splashes from my knees to my neck.
Finally get the bag out, and pour in the extract. OK, we’re back on track now, so I think.
Turn up the gas, and get the boil going.
Ooops - boil over!
OK, 45 minutes on the boil, enter the hops. Gosh, it sure doesn’t look like much liquid is in there…
Whoops! ANOTHER boil-over!
(Never make the same mistake, you say???)
15 minutes left, add the finish hops.
OK, time’s up, let’s get this thing chilled and ready for the primary.
Try to remove the nylon bags containing the hops.
They’re stuck.
That’s right, they’re STUCK - as in “welded” to the bottom of the brew pot!
I put 4 gallons into my bucket, then add what’s left of the wort - most of which has the consistency of maple syrup.
At last, I realize I had boiled/splashed away what had started as 2.0 gallons of water and about .5 gallons of extract. So I added another 1/2 gallon to the bucket, and then took a gravity sample….
The color was a mousy brown, it looked like ‘root beer lite’, at best. Taste was not at all what I expected, and I could detect overtones of…. carbon.
Rather than waste perfectly good yeast, I dumped it, and resolved to pay more attention on the next batch.
Anybody else want to empathize with a horror story of their own?
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